Before my mother passed away she consistently asked me to give her a grandchild. Of course, I shared with her all the reasons I could not honor this request. She already had 4 grandchildren, but I was the only girl and she wanted to see me have a child before she left the earth. Well, she got her wish, and though it was not planned she got what she asked for and always did. Unfortunately, she did not get to meet him face to face and passed away a couple of months before his due date.
Although she wanted me to get pregnant very badly, she sure did not want me to show it. I had been working hard to maintain my health and keep my body in check for a smooth recovery and I was not going to hide it. I was wearing tight tanks and leggings that accentuated my growing belly and the curves that came with it. I wore the same swim wear at the beach as the other ladies who aren’t pregnant. For the first time, I really started to love my body. I have been wearing dresses that I had in my closet before I was ever pregnant and I was feeling cute and confident with my little bump. I can hear her now, bitching me out for showing too much of my pregnancy that SHE wanted me to have.
Next in line to have something to say was my beautiful, super human grandmother. This woman is in her late 80’s, still driving, living on her own, and the leader of her church. She comes from a small province in South Korea, where she had my mother and her 4 brothers. Just recently, I drove to Los Angeles to see her. I was wearing a beautiful, flowing floral maternity dress because I knew if I came over looking rough she would have been worried. Her only daughter had just passed away a couple of weeks before I came to visit, so she was happy to see me but couldn’t help commenting on my “revealing” attire. She says “Your skirt is too short to wear for a pregnant woman and you shouldn’t be flaunting your pregnancy.” (FYI, this sounds a lot more rude when said in Korean)
OMG! WTF??? Is she serious? I love you, Grandma. You are my heart, but you are trippin’! You too Mom. I love and miss you all day, every day, but you were trippin’ too. It’s 2016 and I am loving the way I look and feel and I am sorry it doesn’t’ meet your expectations. I get it. You come from a time and place that did not encourage pregnant women to expose such a private time of their life. But do you want me to wear my husband’s t-shirts and helplessly seek assistance for every move I make? Should I close the blinds and not answer the door until I’m done being pregnant?
Hell no. I work out so I can have the energy to keep up with the rest of this moving world and so I can provide my growing baby with plenty of oxygen for his development. I eat a healthy diet to provide us with the nutrients that are necessary to stay in good shape for the big day. I seek adventure to keep my soul happy because a happy mommy is a happy baby. I am carrying a little human while juggling jobs outside and inside of the home. I love the looks that I get when I walk into the gym, am on my skateboard, or climb a few flights of stairs. I’m pregnant, not disabled or helpless.
I’m sorry, but I love myself more than I have ever loved myself and I am not afraid to offend someone with my beautiful, growing pregnant belly. What the female body is designed to do is too amazing to hide or disguise. Add a confident mind and some self-love into the mix and we are unstoppable. There is no way I can or want to hide such thing. I’m sorry that I’m not sorry that my child bearing belly may offend you. I suggest you look away because I am proud of my pregnancy and I have no intention of putting it away.